


Did You Even Love Me?

by shamelessbieber



Series: Mickey's Feelings [7]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Ian Gallagher - Freeform, M/M, Mandy Milkovich - Freeform, Mickey Milkovich - Freeform, post 5x12, sammi didn't happen!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-11
Updated: 2016-10-11
Packaged: 2018-08-21 21:19:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8260805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shamelessbieber/pseuds/shamelessbieber
Summary: Ian never verbally told Mickey he loved him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> i had written this before but it was pretty trash so here i am re-writing it and sammi never happened!

After Ian and Mickey broke up, nothing seemed _right_. It seemed like everyone had lost all hope. All everyone used to say was "If Mickey and Ian can go through all of that shit and still be happy, fuck, we can too." 

Mandy noticed the uneasy, unhappy aura around Mickey. She wouldn't be so happy either if the person she loved broke her heart - she actually wasn't so happy when that happened - but Mickey's quietness seemed a little different. He didn't speak to anyone, not even to the people he did business deals with. He only talked if it was completely necessary, and Mandy started to panic because she thought her brother was falling into a state of depression.

She didn't know whether to talk to him or wait for him to talk but either way, she was going to find out what exactly happened when they broke up. When Ian had broke up with Mickey, stood there. Ian walked into the Gallagher house and watched Mickey through the living room window, and all Mickey did was stand there with his eyes closed. Kevin had walked over, and tapped Mickey's shoulder resulting in him getting punched in the face. Mickey had come home that day, emotionless. Mandy knew when Mickey wanted to cry but didn't, and those were one of those times so she just patted the couch and gave him a beer.

Snapping out of her blast to past, Mandy looks around to see that Mickey wasn't in the kitchen anymore. She sighs and stands up then grabs her coat. After slipping on her shoes, she walks out of the house, and toward the Gallagher house. When she arrived there, Debbie was on the porch. "Here for Ian?" Debbie questions.

"Yeah, he here?"

"Wish he wasn't." Debbie sighs. "Kitchen."

Mandy didn't know what that meant but she knew Ian was being a fucking idiot. 

When Mandy had opened both doors to get into the living room, she sees Liam watching cartoons, Carl next to him staring off at nothing. When she walked into the kitchen, Lip, Fiona, and Ian all turn to look at her. Mandy stopped talking to Ian after Ian broke her brothers heart. Lip and Mandy haven't spoken to each other since they broke up, and Fiona never had a relationship with Mandy so it was awkward all around. 

"You need something?" Fiona questions, Mandy nodding. 

"Ian." Mandy walks to Ian and grabs his arm, then shoved him a little bit. "Outside, _now_."

Before Mandy walks out behind Ian, she turns to Fiona. "How do you know if someone is depressed?"

Lip just stares at Mandy as if she was some type of one-of-a-kind diamond. Fiona nudges him to stop staring like that, then answers. "I don't know, you'll have to ask Vee if she even knows. The only depression I know is bipolar depression."

All Mandy does is nods then walks outside to see Ian standing there with his arms crossed over his chest. "What did I do and why are you here? You made it pretty clear you don't want to talk to me."

"I don't, but this is fucking serious. Mickey won't talk, he won't talk to me, I called Iggy to see if he wanted to talk to Iggy and he just shook his head. That's not even my concern. He hasn't even told me why you two broke up, he won't even let me bring up _a_ Gallagher without him punching my arm. What the fuck happened?"

Ian shakes his head, "I don't want to remin-"

Mandy grabs his shirt, and inches closer. "I don't fucking care what you want. If it'll be easier, I could get my other brothers to harass it out of you. I'm giving you the easy way out."

Ian didn't like how this was going. It was just like before when him, Mandy, and Mickey all first got involved in each other's life. Mandy threatened him before and she's threatening him now. So Ian tells her everything, and about the punch in the face Mickey gave Kevin. And Mandy didn't see why Mickey was acting the way he was, that was a normal breakup, except with much more emotion.

 

**+**

 

Mandy, that same night, walked into Mickey's room to see him laying on his stomach, face in a pillow. "Leave me alone." Mickey speaks, his words muffled. 

"No, Mickey, it's time we fucking talk." Mandy rolls Mickey over and sits on the bed next to him. "I talked to Ian and he told me about the breakup. I understand why you'd be so sad but is it really that bad that you won't talk about it, or even talk at all?"

Mickey sighs and shakes his head. "Mands, why you meddle so fucking much? Why can't I just deal with it the way that I want?"

"You punched Kev in the face because he asked if you were okay. And you were just laying here with your face in a pillow." Mandy says. "That's your way of dealing with this?"

"What do you want me to fucking do? Cry my eyes out like some bitch and go beg for Ian to take me back? I think the fuck not." Mickey snaps, turning his head to meet eyes with his sister. Mickey knew she just wanted to make sure he's okay. She realized how quick Mickey was building his wall back up that Ian had broke down. 

"I'm your sister, Mick. You don't have to act like a tough ass around me. You can cry if you want to, not like I have any room to judge." Mandy chuckles bitterly. "Just talk to me. For a day or so I thought you were falling into depression, Mick." Mickey sighs. He, himself thought he was depressed so that's why he changed his attitude so quick. 

That sat in silence, staring at nothing, until Mickey finally spoke about what was bothering him. "Ian never told me he loved me."

Mandy was also quiet, shocked actually. Mickey sighs, and shakes his head. "Please leave, Mandy?"

She shakes her head, "Mick, if he didn't love you he wouldn't have fought Terry. He wouldn't have gone through the shit you two have went through if he didn't. Even if he verbally never said it."

"That doesn't mean a thing! I came out for him Mandy, and he broke up with me for what? Because I love him, and I wanted to help him through his fucking bipolar shit?" Mickey exclaims, now crying. Something Mandy hasn't seen from Mickey in years. She wraps her arms around Mickey, Mickey falling into the hug not caring how _pussy_ he looks. "That wasn't that Ian that broke up with me."

"I know it wasn't." Mandy whispers. "I don't know if Ian's on his pills now. I doubt it because Debbie wasn't pretty happy with him when I went over there. I know you hate me meddling, but I don't like seeing you this way. Should I get Iggy?"

"No, Jesus, Mands. This isn't high school, I can fight my own battles." Mickey sighs. "Maybe I'll just ask Ian myself."

"Ask him what? If he loves you?" Mickey nods and Mandy sighs. "I'm sorry about Ian and everything. I'm here for you, Mick. You don't have to be such a hard ass all the time, I'm your sister."

She got up to leave but Mickey shook his head. "No, don't leave, I need-" He didn't want to say he _needs someone_ right now because he wanted to seem independent. 

Mandy just nods and gets comfortable next to him as they watch tv. 

 The next day, when Mandy woke up next to Mickey she was surprised Mickey hadn't kicked her out. Sighing, she stands up to go to the bathroom but heard a knock on the door so she went to answer it. Debbie and Ian are at the door, Debbie looking annoyed. "Um?" Is all Mandy says before Debbie speaks.

"I came here to talk to Mickey and Ian wouldn't leave me alone." Debbie looks at Ian who just rolls his eyes. "Mandy, please stall him."

Debbie runs in, and Mandy just stands there making sure Ian didn't move. "Are you really gonna make me stand here? I just want to talk to him."

"I don't care what you want, you piece of ass." Mandy looks at Ian. 

They hear Mickey groan, "What the fuck do you want, Gallagher?" then he realizes it's Debbie and still asks, "What do you want?"

Incoherent speaking went on, and Mandy just looks at him. "Look, I know I'm being on overprotective, meddling sister but it's my job. You were Mickey's first love, fuck, the first male he's been with. He opened up to you and you broke his heart because what? You didn't want him to nurse you? That's fucking bullshit, Ian! That's what couples do, you fucking saw how JimmySteve and Fiona were together! Take your fucking m-"

"Mandy, chill the hell out." Mickey had come out of his bedroom, Debbie right behind him. 

Before Mandy walks away, she gets close to Ian, their noses inches away from touching. "You never even fucking told him you loved him. You and Lip are just alike, fucking assholes! Heartbreaking, insensitive assholes!"

Mickey just stands there, not knowing whether to add on to yelling at Ian or just to slam the door in his face. Debbie noticed the way the two boys stared at each other, so she went to the door. "Ian, I'll be home in an hour. Just go home."

When Debbie closed the door, Mickey shook his head. "No, Debs, you can't let him walk home alone after that. Pretty sure Mandy just made him feel like shit, and I know he's not on his meds. We can talk about whatever you needed to talk about over the phone."

Debbie didn't hesitate or question it, she just ran out of the door. Mandy comes back moments later, still pissed off. "Where you going?"

"I don't know!"

 

**+**

 

Later that day, reaching nine at night, there was a knock on the door. Mandy didn't come back home so Mickey was home alone. He opened the door, and Ian stood there. "What?" Is all Mickey asks. 

"I love you." Ian says. "I did love you, I do love you. So fucking much, Mickey."

Mickey felt an odd feeling in his chest, as if he was going to cry. "Ian, I don't have time for this right now, I-"

"I might've never said it but I showed it. All those times I held you and kissed you, the shared laughs we had." Ian is now in a small fit of tears. "I didn't break up with you because you were nursing me, I know that's what couples do when they love and care for each other. I just ... I saw what Monica and Frank went through. Her bipolar is half of the reason Frank is an alcoholic. I didn't want you worrying about me and stressing yourself out over me ... I didn't want you to fall of edge like Frank. You don't know how many times I've stood outside of your house after we broke up trying to go to you and tell you I made a dumb mistake but every time I just thought of you trying to drink my disorder away."

Mickey stood there, now in tears as well. 

"Fuck." Mickey whispers, wiping his face with his hand and licking his lips. "I would never do that. I love you, Ian, again I'm here with you through thick and thin. Through you high highs and your low lows. I'm not Frank, I can keep myself up, I don't turn to alcohol all the time."

Ian grabs Mickey's hand, holding it loosely. "I love you so much, Mickey. Just know that."

Mickey blinked. "You came here to tell me all of that, and you're walking away? Again?"

"For now. Just until my meds balance out." Ian steps forward and kisses Mickey's forehead. "As soon as my meds balance, I'll come right to you. But we can be together, as friends for the time being."

After that, Mickey invited him inside to watch movies. And Mandy came back not too excited about seeing the two sleeping boys on the couch, but the smile on Mickey's face made her happy. 

 

 


End file.
